One of Portland’s best bottle shops and bars celebrated their anniversary the other day, and had some really damn good beer on draft to celebrate.
Barley Brown’s Belmont Black CDA: More hoppy than Turmoil and less chocolatey than Chaos, this beer is the Goldilocks setting for CDAs.
De Garde Biere Rose: Super crushable, which is exactly what I did to this pint. It was a joyous experience, with a light and crisp finish!
Sasquatch here had to get a liter, because his hands are too big to hold any other kind of glass.
Upright Four Play: Probably the only time I’ve seen this outside of the brewery. Mmmmm
Friends are the worst when they have a Friday off, and distract you the whole afternoon with drinking.
I hate my friends.
But this Apple Brandy Noir tastes like alcoholic dessert, in a good way!
De Garde Yer Bu: I can smell the tea, but otherwise this just tastes like Bu Weisse, which isn’t a bad thing. Look at that big boy ABV!
Funky Buddha Last Snow: Smells like Almond Joy, tastes like…..a beer with coconut and cinnamon. I like it, but I would like this beer to have a heavier mouthfeel.
De Garde Tableau Rouge: This beer has entirely too many vowels in it.
Block 15 Incredible: Imagine a double Sticky Hands. That’s all you need to know before getting into your car and tracking down a bottle of this dank juice. Also, that label is awesome.
Deschutes The Abyss 2010: 5 year old barrel aged imperial stout? Yes, and it’s still waaaaaay better than any of the more recent incarnations of Abyss. This was one of my first loves of beer, and every time I have a newer Abyss I start to doubt myself. Turns out that this beer is still a badass motherfucker.
THIS BEER IS NOT BEER. IT’S DELICIOUS ALCOHOLIC ROOT BEER YEHHHHHHHH
Tastes like Imperial Hop Bu, but my palate is so ruined it might as well be Miller Lite. Bullshit meter fully engaged.
Why not. Let’s end with another beer I can barely taste, because drunk nuances are the best.
Sometimes it just feels really good to drink a whole bottle of something, and to do it out of the proper glass.
I hate to admit it, but this glass probably see’s more saisons and sours than barrel aged imperial stouts. I should be ashamed….but I’m not.
Also, 2014 BCBS is liquid fudge, and 13.8% booze.
This is what my friend said to his internal organs before embarking on an insurmountable task.
Let’s rewind a few months. This friend is just entering the black hole that is craft beer, and as a result wants the most sour beer ever. The more sour the better. So, another buddy of ours calls him out on it, challenging him to “markintihar” the most sour beer we know of. Markintiharing is a term coined online meaning to drink an entire 22oz. or greater beer, using a gratuitously large glass. I so happen to have a glass that’s perfect for markintiharing, and the most sour beer that we could think of was Upland’s Kiwi Lambic.
You think this beer is pretty, but it has but 2 goals: to destroy your taste buds and to make you poop bloody murder for days.
This is the face of regret.
This is the rest of us watching this happen.
…and if you look closer, the Kiwi Lambic shares a terrible secret: